The Life and Times of Purple Monkey

This was not a fun weekend. Except it was. Maybe it was just too long. It was Alumni Weekend at my school, and so there were plenty of events to attend and things to do. "But wait," you might ask. "You're not an alumni? Why are you going to these events?" Excellent observation. It pretty much all comes down to free food, free stuff, and free entertainment. As you can tell I like free things, and who doesn't? Plus, it was open to everyone so why not go? Either way, I was doing lots and had lots to do. But the downside is that now I'm tired and another week of school is starting. Regrets? Some. But all in all it was interesting seeing old people and getting free stuff. Maybe someday I'll be an alumnus, and then I'll return for even more free stuff. This coming week doesn't look to bad, but then again I always say that. I look at my planner and think, "Oh, I don't have a lot to do. This week will be fun!" And then it isn't. No...

I got bananas. Yes bananas. I love bananas. It's been a long time coming though. I mean who knew they had bananas in Washington? I didn't. Although they're probably not native.... I should have figured that out sooner. Either way I'm excited. And yes, I'm going to be the stereotypical monkey that likes bananas, deal with it. All I know is this weekend is going to be a banana fest. My plans are banana pudding, banana bread, banana splits, banana popsicles, banana this banana that. Now if only I knew how to cook.... I need a banana.

This week is midterm exams, which means studying, studying, and more studying. Some teachers even think, "Oh, how about you do an eight to 10 page paper instead?" as if that's any better. Luckily, caffeine exists. Unluckily, monkeys should not drink caffeine. I'd never had caffeine until this last Sunday (because monkeys don't normally need caffeine in their day to day lives), and I literally went bananas. Not ape–bananas. Nobody wants to go ape, because really how boring is it to not have a tail? Either way, I was so wide awake my eyes were even bigger than normal. In fact I'm pretty sure they changed color. About 10 times. I couldn't sleep; being cliché and counting bananas didn't help either. I finally drifted off, only to be woken up by my 7 a.m. alarm 20 minutes later. That day was not fun, nor was it a great way to start the week. Hopefully I won't need anymore caffeine until finals. Since it's midterms, the rest of the weeks is going t...

Yesterday I went to the carnival, because when you live in a small town there's really nothing else to do. This was my first time (and you never forget your first), and I was a little disappointed. I'd seen carnivals in movies and heard people talk about them, and they looked like so much fun. I mean who wouldn't want to gorge themselves on fried anything and then get on a ride that might fall apart as soon as it starts? But once I got there, my expectations were not met. It was small, the rides were expensive, and there wasn't much do to. Yes there were fried oreos (I didn't get one!) and plenty of high school couples to watch and marvel at their awkwardness, but I wanted more. Perhaps it was because I was too cheap that I left feeling bored. Even still, I don't regret going. It was an interesting experience, one that I'll keep in mind the next time I try a carnival  My only regret was that I didn't get a funnel cake or anything carnival-ly except cu...

I decided to end the week by trying Starbucks new Unicorn Frappuccino, because I'm basic. I was excited, ecstatic—I couldn't wait to taste it's magical flavors. I got to Starbucks, looked at my app to see how much money I had, and saw that the drink was sold out. I checked the other Starbucks—sold out. Another Starbucks—sold out. There was no more magic in the area; I was disappointed. What could I do? I had driven to Starbucks and I was here so I was getting a drink. The Pink Drink was on my list of things to try, so I went for it. As I waited, I still cried inside a little. But then I got my drink, took a sip, and the magic was back. So sweet, so delicious, definitely recommend it. Other than that small episode, the week went by fast with not much action. Still, I'm looking forward to sleeping as mucb as possible this weekend. What are your plans? P.S. I'm not advertising for Starbucks, it was really just that delicious.

Purple Monkey enjoyed a lovely Easter even though classes were starting the next day. Of course, enjoying the holiday meant sleeping in and eating large amounts of candy. The sad part is that PM had no one to celebrate with, since PM was new and didn't know anyone who would enjoy sharing Cadbury Mini Eggs (the best thing about Easter). Still, it's hard to feel bad on a sugar high. The Easter celebration continued well into Monday, as after classes were over PM headed over to Walmart to hit up that 50% off candy. But when PM searched for more bags of Cadbury Mini Eggs to last PM through the year, there were none too be found except small tubes and nasty white chocolate ones. PM doesn't like white chocolate. Still, there was plenty of other candy, including Reese's Pieces Eggs and Chocolate-Dipped Peeps. This should last PM for a while. As for school, PM is enjoying classes. The professors are interesting, and it doesn't seem like there will be too much work. This...

Purple Monkey decided it was time to go to college. While one might think that higher education is useless for a monkey, PM disagrees. A degree opens many doors, and allows PM to be seen as more intelligent than PM's peers. Unfortunately, PM didn't like any of the colleges nearby, because too many monkeys that PM doesn't like go to the nearest college. So PM decided to go somewhere no one knew PM, and become a new monkey. PM has high hopes for this new life; hopefully things will go well.